2'nd Prize Winner- Story 4

My love story started when I turned 16.The lucky girl's name was Soniya,only she didn't know that she was 

all that lucky. Cause to Soniya we were 'just friends'. I was the guy she turned to when she had problems in 

Math. But to me she was. Well, she was more, much more.

'And if I had my way, someday she would be mine.'Her bungalow was just in front of the apartment where my father had a one bedroom flat in the fourth floor. I used to stare at her for hours from the small window next to my study table when she sat on the terrace swing and chat with her friends on the BBM. I was not even on her friend's list as with my little pocket money I could neither afford a blackberry nor the monthly BBM service charges.

Every day my love for her just grew more ,until sometimes I would to breathe ! I know this may sound strange,but I pictured us and the places we would go. It didn't matter to me if it were Goa or Kashmir or some hot sweaty jungle somewhere.You see the feeling was always the same because I was with Soniya and she was  with me .

Well.. looking back now,it was all so simple then.And that's when it all went wrong.

I am Rahul and this is my story . 

At first it was just a crush, but then I couldn't stop thinking of her. I keep on looking out of my small bedroom at her window all day. Just like a small cute puppy with open mouth-watering tongue looks at the garbage truck. I felt so happy and so sad all at once. Happy because thinking about her gives butterflies in my stomach and sad because she was not mine & I didn’t had the balls to confess my love towards her..

I decided to approach a common friend of mine ‘Rocky’ to introduce me to her. Rocky was the dude of our society, with 180 CC sports bike and those rock star killer looks. Asking for introduction was not easy, I had to promise him to wash his bike every week for his ‘Ehsaan’.

So, finally it was the day,I was supposed to meet Love of my Life (only in my dreams uptil now). I got dressed in best pair of jeans with large amount of gel in my hair, wanted that spiked dude look but it all ended in ‘Champu’ look…So somehow, I manage to have a decent look with at least half a bottle of AXE on me.Incase, If AXE Effect might work an angel will fall for me…

She came out of her bungalow, dressed in her favourite jeans, boots, and a pretty pink top. She braided her thick brown hair into pigtails with a cute Disney pink hair Pin. She was looking gorgeous. As she was coming towards us ,my heart was beating like Rajdhani express..I was so nervous, all that talcum powder n fair n handsome faded off in sweat.

Rocky : “Hi Soniya, how are you’

Soniya: Fine. Busy with studies , how about you..

Rocky : Studies ahh,,,Is saal top karne ka irada hain kya

Soniya: Naah,struggling with maths..:(

I was standing like Rocky’s dog thinking ‘sale, joh kaam karne aaya hain who toh kar’

Rocky : By the way, meet a very good friend of mine, Rahul ,..He is master in Maths..

Me thinking ..’Master’..66 marks main..ahhh..thoda proud hua..

Me: ‘Hi Hi…Hi…(stammering)…(oops..what a looser I am, pehla impression hi down kar diya’

Soniya : Hi. Rahul, I know you, You stay in 11/B na…

Ohh, She knows me,even she knows my flat No..I was on cloud nine.The same feeling when a kid feels when the principal knows him with name,Either he is too talented or total mess..ahhh..Which one of it am I, neither am I handsome…(No point discussing that, My looks even laugh on Me,) or she considers me tapori kinda of Boy…

Me: Hi,Soniya..Glad to hear that you have problem with math..( Oh Shit, What Am I saying, God save me…)

Soniya: Excuse Me, it makes you happy..ahh..

Me : (Taking all my strength n faking dude smile) was just Kidding !!! ha ha… (Thank God..survived,what an awkward situation that was..)

Rocky took the plunge at correct point..”Soniya, Y don’t you ask your doubts to Rahul, he is seriously good, Man’..

Its always feels good when a dude compliments a total looser like me..

Soniya : why not,Sunday  afternoon my Place, if your Master mind have time..

ME : (In my brain :Yes Yes Yes Yes…, I will die for it, Stay calm n composed Rahul, no desperation.. ) Ya , sure..Give me a call .

Then we exchanged our numbers..That was an Oscar achievement for me.I thanked Rocky for his ‘Ladki Pataying Gyan’ and Support.

So, Finally Sunday arrived.I was desperately waiting for her call.Looking at my 1000Rs Reliance CDMA mobile every alternate second, as a losing share market trader on BSE ticker.Then the Phone ranged , it was hers…

Hurray !!

Me : Hello

Sonia : Hi..Rahul, Soniya her ..remember…

Me: Soniya..hhhh…Rocky’s friend right ..(thinking ,what a actor I am)

Sonia: Can you come down to my place, I have exam 2morw & am stuck at a particular chapter.

Me: Ya, Sure..(wait a minute, main kaun sa sher hoon math main…,mujhe bhi toh padhna padega)..Which Chapter..

Sonia :Derivatives..

Me :Ya ..Ok..Will See you in an hour..

Sonia: Ok Thanks

I jumped out of my bed, searched ‘The Math book’  jo kahin door kisi kone main padhi padhi dhool ke make-up main saji thi…I opened it and started reading the chapter…I didn’t wanted to look like a looser in front of her..Simulataneouly, was cursing Rocky for bragging so much..Master..ahh…good at Math bhi toh bol sakta tha na…

Anyways, I got ready ..Took a bath, applied soap as well as body lotion, applied Dad’s Colon and Lots of Axe Effect. And went to her place. First time in my entire life I bathed for more than 10mins.

I was paranoid.

First of all. I didn’t act like myself and on top of that, I pretended as she was some stranger girl. I basically never knew existed. I tried not to look at her often and when she said something I pretended as if I didn’t know what he meant and made sure to keep it strictly academic.

ME: “I Like Big ones too”

She: ?????

Me: I mean House. Your House is beautiful.

How awkward could I be????I just won the Awkward Film Fare award. And she just looked at me. Gave me the same look I had given her.
GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION…I said to myself..

The conversation ended there. As much as I want to talk with her, I know I have to compose myself not to be obvious that I like her. After that we used to meet every now & then and soon we became friends. We became too close that people around us thinks that we are in a “more-than-friends relationship”. More often than not we just laugh it off.

I know that I am already falling for her and there’s no denying that she too treats me more special than our other friends, we talk every night and sometimes would end at wee hours of the morning but, I just can’t assume. I know I have to hear it from her.

Days, Months and Years go by and she still didn’t say anything about how she feels for me, neither did I. We spent a lot of time together, watched movies, go shopping, a lot of opportunity where she can tell me but nothing. So I thought that we are just friends. It was so sad but I’d rather have her as a friend than lose her.

I started dating somebody else but it’s still her that I love so I always end up just dating.. I can’t go steady. I can’t commit because my heart still belongs to her. I’ve cried so many sleepless nights and sometimes I would talk to her about it but will tell a different girl name so she will not think it’s her.

One night we went to a Birthday party of a common friend, I saw this handsome body-builder guy  flirting with her and she just ignored it. I approached her & I told her that I think the Guy likes her and they looked good together. To my surprise not long after she started dating the guy. She told me that I was right and that the Guy is nice and sweet. His news broke my heart.I said and she started dating that guy, How can she do that to me. So I stayed away from her, I rarely tried to meet her. She too got too busy with that Handsome.

After a year or so, we attended a common friend’s party .she too was there but without her Boy-friend. We were in the same table so we don’t have any other choice but to talk. She asked me how I was and she said she missed me. I asked how she was too and how was her relationship with the Guy oing. She said that they’re doing fine. she asked me if I am dating someone right now I said yes even though I’ was  not. She said that I’m still playful and not wanting to commit. She told me that I was a playboy. She said those words as if I played with her heart. Tears fell down my eyes, if she only knew why I didn’t get serious with those girls. If she only knew how I waited for her to tell me she loves me. I can’t bear the thought of her seeing me cry so I left the party. She ran after me and asked me what is wrong. Right there I confessed how much I loved her, how much I cared for her and how every day I prayed that she’d loved me back. She was so speechless that all she did was to hug me tight. She said :’Why didn’t you said that earlier, now I am seeing someone else, you are saying this to me’ Before she complete her statement ,I pushed her away and ran. For several days, I locked myself  in my room, after some days I was in Delhi to pursue my higher studies, I changed number so she won’t be able to call me. She sent numerous email and left many messages but I didn’t read them.

I started to move on and live with my life. One day the bell rang in my apartment and it was our common friend. He told me that Soniya has been trying to reach me. I just shrugged it and changed the topic. The pain is too much that I can’t bear talking about her. He handed me an envelope. To my surprise it is a wedding invitation, Soniya’s wedding invitation. I was trying so hard to stop the tears from falling but I can’t. I opened the invitation a small folded paper fell on the floor, I picked it up and it was a note saying, “Rahul, this could have been us”. What?! I told myself. I remembered the emails that he sent me curious of what was It about, I started browsing my inbox for it.

I just broke down and cry. It’s too late. If only I read those emails, Yes, It You could have been mine. I can’t go to the wedding because I might make a scene. I just sent a gift and wish them both well.

Now I am always thinking of the “what ifs”. It’s just sad to know that we both don’t have the guts to tell how and what we feel.I still regret Why I ran away from the situation without hearing what she wanted to say.Sometimes situation makes fool out of you, and ofter you make fool out of situation .Anyways,She is now happily married and I am still sipping the painful regret of mine.


- Yamini , Mumbai